A better improvement of online delivery: An Ethiopian Airlines Flight Crashed and 157 people died

An Ethiopian Airlines Flight Crashed IN Buzzfeed News

The link for this news is here: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/nidhisubbaraman/ethiopian-airlines-crash-addis-ababa-nairobi-boeing in Buzzfeed News.

The new telling 157 people were killed in an Ethiopian Airlines Flight Crash after takeoff from Addis Ababa. However, for the first sentence of this news, it just easily repeats the headline rather than giving the audiences a new way to get the story simply and clearly with more information. it should be improved in “A jetliner with all 157 passengers at least 35 countries crashed  6 mins after leaving Addis Ababa in Ethiopia on Sunday, and no one survives ”

 

The featured picture of this news saying a woman gets a call with worries, which cannot intuitively deliver the main content of this story.  a more suitable picture should be used with the relation to this flight crash, it can be clicked to get more information.

The scene of the crash near the town of Bishoftu, south-east of Addis Ababa

 

The map and the flight information can be linked to into the words  ‘Flight 302‘ and ‘ from Addis Ababa‘ so that it will give the audience more details for reviewing.

 

Most links to this story are linked to Twitter, so it can be improved with more multimedia and multiplatform.

When mentioning the Lion Air plane that also crashed last year, it can be compared with this crash and more readers will be interest. For the similarities and differences between an Ethiopian airlines and Lion Air plane, it can be linked to Insiders news to get more information about this topic.

 

Improved by Wenjie Li

About Stella Li 1 Article
This is Stella Li! A 22 years old girl who is studying the master degree- media practice at the university of Sydney.

1 Comment

  1. A great suggestion about the lead Stella. The second proposal about the image is good too, although you’ve included no details about where you have taken this alternative image from i.e. who owns the copyright. The image of the distressed woman on the phone really only needs a good caption to indicate this woman’s relationship to the incident. Your link to the aviation record is a workable suggestion and also to the tweet by Kevin Chang, but both links need attribution to their sources. A map is a wonderful idea. It could be embedded in the story, rather than linked. What other multimedia would you insert and why? Finally take care with chronology. You couldn’t link from something written on March 10 to a story only published on March 12.

    In terms of your web writing, I’m not sure why you didn’t embed your opening story link. Your opening sentence should read: I am analysing a Buzzfeed news story about the recent Ethiopian plane crash.
    Your feature caption should read:
    Image: Buzzfeed News story on Ethiopian plane crash
    Don’t forget to use keyword tags on your story for easier audience discovery.
    Please check your spelling, grammar and punctuation before posting any assignment material.

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